The Host Chapter 23: Confessed

The loathsomenessness was huge and get bulgehapen. It loomed all over me, top-heavy, swinging adjacent-set(prenominal) to my face.I call in I meant to scream, nevertheless the sound got trapped in my throat, and all that came tabu was a breathless squeak.Shh, its quiet me, Jamie whispered. Something bulky and circular rolled from his shoulders and plopped softly to the turn uprage. When it was gone I could see his true, lithe shadow against the moonlight.I caught a few gasps of air, my hand clutching at my throat.Sorry, he whispered, sit d suffer on the acuity of the mattress. I guess that was pretty stupid. I was severe non to wake atomic number 101-I didnt even bet how I would die you. You okay? He patted my ankle, which was the part of me closest to him.Sure, I huffed, stable breathless.Sorry, he muttered again.What are you doing here, Jamie? Shouldnt you be asleep?Thats why Im here. Uncle Jeb was snoring standardised you wouldnt believe. I couldnt stand i t anymore.His answer didnt make sense to me. Dont you usually sleep with Jeb?Jamie yawned and hardening to untie the bulky deal a go at itroll hed dropped to the floor. No, I usually sleep with Jared. He doesnt snore. alone you know that.I did.Why dont you sleep in Jareds room, then? are you afraid to sleep alone? I wouldnt cast blamed him for that. It seemed exchangeable I was constantly terrified here.Afraid, he grumbled, offended. No. This is Jareds room. And mine.What? I gasped. Jeb move me in Jareds room?I couldnt believe it. Jared would violent death me. No, he would start Jeb early, and then he would kill me.Its my room, withal. And I told Jeb you could have it.Jared will be furious, I whispered.I can do what I want with my room, Jamie muttered rebelliously, except if then he bit his lip. We wont tell him. He doesnt have to know.I nodded. Good idea.You dont mind if I sleep in here, do you? Uncle Jebs authentically loud.No, I dont mind. scarcely Jamie, I dont hypothesise you should.He frowned, toilsome to be tough instead of yearn. Why not?Because its not safe. olds pile come expression for me at night.His eyes went wide. They do?Jared everlastingly had the gun-they went away.Who?I dont know-Kyle sometimes. scarce there are surely former(a)s who are still here.He nodded. All the more reason why I should stay. Doc mightiness need help.Jamie -Im not a kid, Wanda. I can contain caveat of myself.Obviously, arguing was only pass to make him more stubborn. At l easterly(prenominal) take the bed, I said, surrendering. Ill sleep on the floor. Its your room.Thats not right. Youre the guest.I snorted low-keyly. Ha. No, the bed is yours.No way. He lay down on the mat, folding his fortify tightly across his chest. over again, I saw that arguing was the wrong advancement to take with Jamie. Well, this one I could rectify as soon as he was asleep. Jamie slept so profoundly it was al most(prenominal) a coma. Melanie could carry him a nywhere once he was out.You can use my rest, he told me, patting the one neighboring to the side where he lay. You dont need to scrunch up at the groundwork there.I sighed but crawled to the top of the bed.Thats right, he said approvingly. Now, could you throw me Jareds?I hesitated, about to reach for the pillow under my head he jumped up, leaned over me, and snatched the other pillow. I sighed again.We lay in calm down for a trance, perceive to the low whistle of the doctors breathing.Doc has a nice snore, doesnt he? Jamie whispered.It wont remark you up, I agreed.You tired?Yeah.Oh.I waited for him to say something more, but he was quiet.Was there something you wanted? I asked.He didnt answer right away, but I could feel him struggling, so I waited.If I asked you something, would you tell me the truth?It was my fold to hesitate. I dont know e trulything, I hedged.You would know this. When we were walking me and Jeb he was vocalizing me some things. Things he conception, b ut I dont know if hes right.Melanie was suddenly very there in my head.Jamies whisper was hard to collect, quieter than my breathing. Uncle Jeb thinks that Melanie might still be alive. Inside there with you, I mean.My Jamie. Melanie sighed.I said nothing to each of them.I didnt know that could happen. Does that happen? His portion broke, and I could hear that he was fighting tears. He was not a boy to cry, and here Id grieved him this deeply twice in one day. A pain pierced through with(predicate) with(predicate) the general region of my chest.Does it, Wanda?Tell him. Please tell him that I shaft him.Why wont you answer me? Jamie was really crying now but nerve-wracking to muffle the sound.I crawled off the bed, squeezing into the hard space among the mattress and the mat, and threw my arm over his shaking chest. I leaned my head against his hair and mat up his tears, warm on my neck.Is Melanie still alive, Wanda? Please?He was probably a tool. The old man could have sent him precisely for this Jeb was smart luxuriant to see how easily Jamie broke through my defenses. It was possible that Jeb was seeking handicap for his theory, and he wasnt against using the boy to charm it. What would Jeb do when he was authoritative of the dangerous truth? How would he use the information? I didnt think he meant me harm, but could I trust my own judgment? human were deceitful, treacherous creatures. I couldnt anticipate their darker agendas when such things were unthinkable to my species.Jamies body move beside me.Hes suffering, Melanie cried. She battered ineffectually at my control.But I couldnt blame this on Melanie if it morose out to be a huge mistake. I knew who was language now.She promised she would come back, didnt she? I murmured. Would Melanie prisonbreak a promise to you?Jamie slid his arms more or less my waist and clung to me for a coarse time. afterwards a few minutes, he whispered, Love you, Mel.She loves you, too. Shes so brainy tha t youre here and safe.He was silent long enough for the tears on my skin to dry, leaving a fine, savoury dust behind.Is everybody like that? Jamie whispered long later I fancy hed fallen asleep. Does everybody stay?No, I told him sadly. No. Melanie is special.Shes strong and brave.Very.Do you think He paused to sniff. Do you think that maybe Dad is still there, too?I swallowed, trying to move the lump farther down my throat. It didnt work. No, Jamie. No, I dont think so. non like Melanie is.Why?Because he brought the Seekers looking for you. Well, the soul inside him did. Your father wouldnt have permit that happen if he were still there. Your sister never let me see where the cabin was-she didnt even let me know that you existed for the longest time. She didnt bring me here until she was sure that I wouldnt violate you.It was too much information. single as I finished communicate did I realize that the doctor wasnt snoring anymore. I could hear no noise from his breathing. Stupid. I cursed myself internally.Wow, Jamie said.I whispered into his ear, so close that there was no way the doctor could possibly overhear. Yes, shes very strong.Jamie labored to hear me, frowning, and then glanced at the opening to the dark hall. He must(prenominal) have realized the selfsame(prenominal) thing I had, because he turned his face to my ear and whispered back softer than before. Why would you do that? Not hurt us? Isnt that what you want?No. I dont want to hurt you.Why?Your sister and I have spent a plow of time together. She shared you with me. And I started to to love you, too.And Jared, too?I gritted my teeth for a second, chagrined that he had do the connection so easily. Of program I dont want anything to hurt Jared, either.He hates you, Jamie told me, plainly grieved by the fact.Yes. Everyone does. I sighed. I cant blame them.Jeb doesnt. And I dont.You might, subsequently you think about it more.But you werent even here when they took over. You didnt pick my dad or my mom or Melanie. You were in outer space then, right? Yes, but I am what I am, Jamie. I did what souls do. Ive had many hosts before Melanie, and nothings stop me from taking lives. Again and again. Its how I live.Does Melanie hate you?I thought for a minute. Not as much as she used to.No. I dont hate you at all. Not anymore.She says she doesnt hate me at all anymore, I murmured almost silently.How how is she?Shes happy to be here. Shes so happy to see you. She doesnt even business that theyre going to kill us.Jamie stiffened under my arm. They cant Not if Mels still aliveYouve upset him, Melanie complained. You didnt have to say that.It wont be any easier for him if hes unprepared.They wont believe that, Jamie, I whispered. Theyll think Im dissimulation to trick you. Theyll just want to kill me more if you tell them that. Only Seekers lie.The word made him shudder.But youre not lying. I know it, he said after a moment.I shrugged.I wont let them kill her.His voice , though quiet as a breath, was fierce with determination. I was paralytic at the thought of him becoming more involved with this situation, with me. I thought of the barbarians he lived with. Would his age protect him from them if he tried to protect me? I discredited it. My thoughts scrambled, searching for some way to dissuade him without triggering his stubbornness.Jamie spoke before I could say anything he was suddenly calm, as if the answer was plain in front of him. Jared will think of something. He always does.Jared wont believe you, either. Hell be the angriest of them all.Even if he doesnt believe it, hell protect her. Just in case.Well see, I muttered. Id find the perfect words later-the argument that would not sound like an argument.Jamie was quiet, thinking. Eventually, his breathing got slower, and his mouth cast off open. I waited until I was sure he was deeply under, and then I crawled over him and very carefully shifted him from the floor to the bed. He was heavi er than before, but I managed. He didnt wake.I put Jareds pillow back where it belonged, and then stretched out on the mat.Well, I thought, I just hurled myself out of the frying pan. But I was too tired to care what this would mean tomorrow. Within seconds, I was unconscious.When I woke, the crevices in the ceiling were bright with echoed sunlight, and individual was whistling.The whistling stopped.Finally, Jeb muttered when my eyes fluttered.I rolled onto my side so that I could look at him as I moved, Jamies hand slid from my arm. Sometime in the night he must have reached out to me-well, not to me, to his sister.Jeb was leaning against the natural rock door frame, his arms folded across his chest. Morning, he said. Get enough sleep?I stretched, decided that I tangle acceptably rested, and then nodded.Oh, dont give me the silent treatment again, he complained, scowling.Sorry, I murmured. I slept well, thank you.Jamie stirred at the sound of my voice.Wanda? he asked.I was ridicu lously touched that it was my silly nickname that he spoke on the edge of sleep.Yes?Jamie blinked and pulled his tangled hair out of his eyes. Oh, hey, Uncle Jeb.My room not goodness enough for you, kid?You snore real loud, Jamie said, and then yawned.Havent I taught you anything? Jeb asked him. Since when do you let a guest and a lady sleep on the floor?Jamie sat up suddenly, staring around, disoriented. He frowned.Dont upset him, I told Jeb. He insisted on taking the mat. I moved him when he was asleep.Jamie snorted. Mel always used to do that, too.I widened my eyes slightly at him, trying to convey a warning.Jeb chuckled. I looked up at him, and he had that same pouncing-cat expression hed had yesterday. The solved-puzzle expression. He walked over and kicked the edge of the mattress.Youve already missed your first light class. Sharons bound to be testy about that, so get a move on.Sharon is always testy, Jamie complained, but he got to his feet quickly.On your way, boy.Jamie lo oked at me again, then he turned and disappeared into the hall.Now, Jeb said as soon as we were alone. I think all this baby-sitting nonsense has gone on long enough. Im a busy man. Everyone is busy here-too busy to sit around playin guard. So straightaway youre going to have to come along with me while I get my chores done.I felt my mouth pop open.He stared at me, no smile.Dont look so terrified, he grumbled. Youll be fine. He patted his gun. My house is no place for babies.I couldnt argue with that. I took three quick, deep breaths, trying to steady my nerves. Blood pulsed so loudly in my ears that his voice seemed quiet in comparison when he spoke again.Cmon, Wanda. Days wasting.He turned and stomped out of the room.I was frozen for a moment, and then I lurched out after him. He wasnt bluffing-he was already invisible around the first corner. I raced after him, horrified by the thought that I might run into someone else in this obviously inhabited wing. I caught up to him befor e he reached the tremendous intersection of the tunnels. He didnt even look at me as I slowed beside him to match his pace.Bout time that northeast field was planted. Well have to work the soil first. Hope you dont mind getting your men dirty. After were done, Ill see that you get a chance to clean yourself up. You need it. He sniffed pointedly, then laughed.I felt the back of my neck get hot, but I ignored the last part. I dont mind getting my hands dirty, I murmured. As I recalled, the empty northeastern field was out of the way. Perhaps we would be able to work alone.Once we got to the big promenade cave, we started passing humans. They all stared, infuriated, as usual. I was beginning to recognize most of them the middle-aged cleaning lady with the long salt-and-pepper braid I had seen with the irrigation team yesterday. The piddling man with the round belly, thinning sandy hair, and ruddy cheeks had been with her. The athletic-looking woman with the devotee brown skin had been the one bent to tie her shoe the first time Id come out here during the day. Another dark-skinned woman with slow lips and sleepy eyes had been in the kitchen, near the two brown-haired children-perhaps she was their mother? Now we passed Maggie she glowered at Jeb and turned her face away from me. We passed a pale, sick-looking man with white hair whom I was sure Id never seen before. and then we passed Ian.Hey, Jeb, he said cheerfully. Whatcha up to?Turning the soil in the east field, Jeb grunted.Want some help?Ought to make yourself useful, Jeb muttered.Ian took this as an assent and fell into step behind me. It gave me goose bumps, feeling his eyes on my back.We passed a young man who couldnt have been many years older than Jamie-his dark hair stood up from his olive-toned forehead like steel wool.Hey, Wes, Ian greeted him.Wes watched in silence as we passed. Ian laughed at his expression.We passed Doc.Hey, Doc, Ian said.Ian. Doc nodded. In his hands was a big wad of do ugh. His fit out was covered with dark, coarse flour. Morning, Jeb. Morning, Wanda.Morning, Jeb answered.I nodded uneasily.See you round, Doc said, hurrying off with his burden.Wanda, huh? Ian asked.My idea, Jeb told him. Suits her, I think.Interesting was all Ian said.We finally made it to the northeastern field, where my hopes were dashed.There were more people here than there had been in the passageways-five women and nine men. They all stopped what they were doing and scowled, naturally.Pay em no mind, Jeb murmured to me.Jeb proceeded to follow his own advice he went to a jumbled pile of tools against the closest wall, shoved his gun through the strap at his waist, and grabbed a pick and two shovels.I felt exposed, having him so far away. Ian was just a step behind me-I could hear him breathing. The others in the room continued to glower, their tools still in their hands. I didnt miss the fact that the picks and hoes that were breaking the earth could easily be used to break a body. It seemed to me, in reading a few of their expressions, that I wasnt the only one with that idea.Jeb came back and handed me a shovel. I gripped the smooth, worn woody handle, feeling its weight. After seeing the bloodlust in the humans eyes, it was hard not to think of it as a weapon. I didnt like the idea. I doubted I could go on it as one, even to block a blow.Jeb gave Ian the pick. The sharp, blackened metal looked deadly in his hands. It took all my willpower not to skip out of range.Lets take the back corner.At least Jeb took me to the least crowded spot in the long, sunny cave. He had Ian pulverize the hard-baked dirt ahead of us, while I flipped the clods over and he followed behind, crushing the chunks into usable soil with the edge of his shovel.Watching the sweat run down Ians fair skin-hed removed his shirt after a few seconds in the dry scorch of the mirror light-and hearing Jebs grunted breaths behind me, I could see that I had the easiest job. I wished I had something more difficult to do, something that would keep me from being distracted by the movements of the other humans. Their every motion had me cringing and flinching.I couldnt do Ians job-I didnt have the thick arm and back muscles needed to really chew into the hard soil. But I decided to do what I could of Jebs, prechopping the clods into smaller bits before I moved on. It helped a little bit-kept my eyes busy and tired me out so that I had to concentrate on making myself work.Ian brought us body of water now and then. There was a woman-short and fair, Id seen her in the kitchen yesterday-who seemed to have the job of convey water to the others, but she ignored us. Ian brought enough for three every time. I found his about-face in regard to me unsettling. Was he really no longer intent on my death? Or just looking for an opportunity? The water always tasted funny here-sulfurous and stale-but now that taste seemed suspicious. I tried to ignore the paranoia as much as possible .I was functional hard enough to keep my eyes busy and my mind numb I didnt notice when we hit the end of the last row. I stopped only when Ian did. He stretched, pulling the pick overhead with two hands and popping his joints. I shied away from the raised pick, but he didnt see. I realized that everyone else had stopped, too. I looked at the fresh-turned dirt, even across the entire floor, and realized that the field was complete.Good work, Jeb announced in a loud voice to the group. Well seed and water tomorrow.The room was filled with soft chatter and clanks as the tools were piled against the wall once more. Some of the talk was casual some was still tense because of me. Ian held his hand out for my shovel, and I handed it to him, feeling my already low mood sink right to the floor. I had no doubt that I would be included in Jebs we. Tomorrow would be just as hard as today.I looked at Jeb mournfully, and he was lucky in my direction. There was a smugness to his grin that made me believe he knew what I was thinking-not only did he guess my discomfort, but he was enjoying it.He winked at me, my crazy friend. I realized again that this was the best to be expected from human friendship.See you tomorrow, Wanda, Ian called from across the room, and laughed to himself.Everyone stared.